Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
