He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
