Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
