Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
