I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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