im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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