Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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