I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
