I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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