Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
