You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize