will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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