I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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