Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
