Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
