the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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