We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
