i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
