Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
