if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
