What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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