Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
