I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
