just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
