3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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