do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this will be a night to untag.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Houston, we have a blender
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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