I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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