That's intense
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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