I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
