i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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