just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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