Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
