So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
