Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
