I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
