Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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