I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
