it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
