i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
