apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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