why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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