your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
