he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
