Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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