kristin has been a bad kristin
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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