I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
