I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
