Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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