So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
