Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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