after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
