I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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