why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize
