Got a toothbrush?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
