please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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